Got my TOEFL score today

Waking up, logging in TOEFL website with my eyes half close half open, I couldn’t hold an interjection “Wow”.

I got 27 for Reading, 26 for Listening, 23 for Speaking, and 28 for Writing. My total score is 104.

Couldn’t believe in my eyes, I had been praying for above 90. Thank you, Goddess of Luck.

However, frankly, a little disappointed at my Speaking score. TOEFL examiners commented that I had limited grammar and vocabulary, and that my ideals weren’t adequate developed. (So sad >_<)

I want to contribute my Writing score to Mr.thay’ patience. If I didn’t have him analyzed, marked and guided my writings, I couldn’t write anything at all, put aside TOEFL essays. 28 is not an impressive score. Yet it is the best score I got so far.

In the future, I don’t have to re-take the TOEFL test, phew! Just need to climb the ultimate Everest mountain: GMAT.

*Pray for me, would you? I will need a lot of luck this time.*

Re-learn GMAT

“Study without desire spoils the memory, and it retains nothing that it takes in." – Leonardo da Vinci.

As I mentioned in the previous entry, I’ve already known which kind of career I want to pursue. In my wildest dream, I spend 16 hours per day and 7 days per week in office, collecting, analyzing, and examining data and information. Then, after 2 or 3 years eating and sleeping with work, I can apply for an MBA course.

I don’t know whether I’m lucky or not. It was not until the last semester of college that I've realized what type of career I fit. It seems like I have to start from scratch again. 

In the next 3 months, I’m going to study GMAT.

• First of all, I take the GMAT test for myself. I want to test whether I have potential talents to study and work in financial field or not.

• Second of all, I want to add one plus point in my application. Even if the schools at which I aim don’t require GMAT score, their eyes can sparkle while reading my GMAT report. 

The next 3 months would not be smooth.

I will go through days watching my roommate dress up for work. I will blame myself for not studying GMAT earlier and not performing better in previous job interviews. I will feel inferior standing next to my roommate, shamefully. 

I’ll be scared of getting headache over GMAT problems. I’ll be scared of not getting the score I want.

In the next 3 months, there will be (many) times when I will want to give up. There will be times I will feel like a bunch of useless crap. Under that circumstance, what should I do? 

Today I took the TOEFL iBT test

“Every journey starts with a single step.” I have just taken my first step today: taking the TOEFL iBT test.

I was lucky.3 reading passages were about familiar topics. Listening section was not too hard. 

I’m worrying about the Speaking and Writing section. I made a few small mistakes in 2 essays. I couldn’t convey all of my ideas in 2 speaking questions.

What a relief! My struggling days finally come to an end. I’m waiting for the result. Even when the result is unexpectedly low, I will not feel regretful. 

This week, thanks to Mr.thay’s lecture, I know what career I want to pursue. (Millions thanks to my Mr.thay, as usual.) I’m working to earn an opportunity to become what I want myself to be.

Next step:

• Schools & courses, GMAT, required essays, letters of recommendation, other documents. Retake the TOEFL test, if needed.
• Homework, essays, reading, online courses on finance…..

* Becoming one of “C suite” is tempting. Studying MBA is alluring. I still want to keep my intention to study MBA at Fuqua, Ohlin or Kellogg. But I guess that silly dream can wait a little longer. Maybe 5 years later?*

I quit!

“That’s it. I’m done. I’m not working anymore.” That is what I said after reading Mr.thay’s corrections and comments.

Frankly, I have been saying those words countless times.

Yet, I’m still unable to do so.

And I feel truly happy about that.

I am a quitter. My common solution for any problem is running away, hiding at some place, and waiting for that problem to solve itself.

For the first time in my life, I’ve found something so important that I don’t want to quit. To other people, what I am doing now could be really boring and easy. To me, they are hard; they are challenging; they are fascinating.

Writing essays, completing assignments, reading,…… My life pretty sucks, eh? 

Our “superman” is back

He’s back! Our “Mr.thay” is back. 5 weeks without his lectures, his weekly bulletins are over, finally. It feels so awesome reading his latest emails.  

My teacher has changed the class platform. Instead of running face-to-face classes 6 days a week, he now teaches us indirectly via the Internet.

Honestly, I kind of like his new teaching method. In the future, I hope to absorb his feedbacks, his corrections, and his comments more effectively. 

My teacher truly knows how to push his student to work. He is like Cao Cao, the charismatic protagonist in “The romance of Three Kingdoms” – an ancient Chinese masterpiece.

Well, our teacher is back. Please feel happy for us, since a great teacher is extremely hard to find yet easily to lose.

If only

"If only I had been more careful, I would not lose my job." 

"If only I had been beautiful, I would have a boyfriend." 

We usually say "if only" in regrets. We almost never say "if only" when we are happy and satisfied with our life.

Preparing for a trip to Singapore, I have imagined Singapore was an alienated city built by "supermen" and "superwomen” (brainiacs). I have thought of Singapore's harbor and Changi airport as magnificent wonders. I have fantasized Singapore skyline.

3 days visiting Singapore, using its underground train, shopping at Bugis street, discovering Changi airport, observing its harbor, chatting with Singaporeans, I now see Singapore simply an advanced, civilized society that Vietnam would have been, if only....

If only we could have a high-qualified education system valuing science and technology. If only we could significantly upgrade our infrastructure. If only we could have a market-oriented economy and a strong law-based society. If only we could attract and use "supermen" and "superwomen.” If only we could see diversity as a strength not a weakness.

A lot of "if only" have been growing inside my mind, accompanied by bitterness and imagination.

Lee Kuan Yew has said in an interview by Fareed Zakaria," We all know that the more you engage in conflict, the poorer and the more desperate you become. Visit Cambodia and Vietnam; the world just passed them by." Backward education, unstable economy, devastated culture, and dangerous cities are the consequences of wrong decisions made in the previous decades.

Things would never be different for Vietnam if no positive changes happened. Unluckily, it seems that in the near future, I still have to widen my imagination, keeping hoping that one day "if only" could become reality, that one day I could proudly answer “I’m from Vietnam” when asked about my origin.

A beautiful, modern, and green city.

The busiest port in the world. <3