Personality disorders

Late last night, while nonchalantly surfing the Internet, I bumped into websites providing free personality disorder tests. I took some of them, and guess what? I have personality disorders, Borderline, Schizotypal, and Avoidant. Knowing the fact makes me feel both relieving and upsetting.

At last, I finally can understand what have been wrong with me in the ways I’ve behaved, socialized, and thought for 15 years. Now, I can see who I am. And I can find ways to live better. Phew! What a relief. 

In the other hand, I feel upset. I don’t ask for personality disorders, ever. I can trade many things to have a normal life that a 22-year-old should have. I want to have stable emotion system, and close relationships. 

I want to have some words to people with personality disorders like me: It is ok. Although personality disorders make it difficult for us to be accepted by the society, they should not stop us from learning, growing, and connecting. So, keep living, don’t give up.

It is understandable that, sometimes, you wish those mental problems to disappear. Try to think it that way. Personality disorders give us chances to see the world differently and to experience different things. And they are completely ok.

It is hard for other people to accept us. 98% of the world population don't have personality disorders. Please be kind, open, and understanding to them.

To other people out there: Science researches show that childhood and adolescent traumas can lead to personality disorders. In my case, that is true. If, at times, I had found other ways to cope with traumas, or had somebody to ask for advices, my life would have been different. So, be kind to your friends, relatives, colleagues, and families, ok? Sometimes, you don't know what they are going through.