Luật

Thời gian không bao giờ quay lại. Vì thế mà người ta luôn hướng về phía trước, nhìn về tương lai mà không thể trở về quá khứ.

Những người xunh quanh ta một ngày nào đó sẽ rời xa. Chính vì thế mà người cần được ta yêu thương nhiều nhất chính là bản thân mình.

It is hard to be an Aspie/Aspergian

In Aspie world, stress management, emotional development are some things we have to learn, to acquire as skills while many people inherit them naturally. We learn communication skills, interpersonal skills, and teamwork skills slowlier than others. We find out what are our abilities and interests later in life than other people. We feel awkwark, isolated, frustrated, helpless, inferior. We hardly find somebody to help us, to understand us, to like us.

As an Aspie, I cannot escape it. I cannot change the fact. I cannot wish to be anybody else. I am able to do 1 thing: adjusting my life to become more of myself.

I know all of them. Yet, sometimes, it is still so hard.

[In my country, Vietnam, most people don’t know and don’t care about mental health. In fact, if you tell people you have some mental problems, they will assume you as crazy and abnormal. Hardly anyone comes to see therapists; books on mental heath in Vietnamese language are very rare. Under the circumstance, I haven’t had any formal diagnosis. Asperger’s syndrome is the problem I self-diagnosed myself with the help of highly-recommended and trusted books of Tony Attwood, John Elder, and Willey. I only wish that one day, in the near future, Vietnamese people can consider therapy as normal and helpful in life, and many Aspergian could be formal diagnosed.]

Personality disorders

Late last night, while nonchalantly surfing the Internet, I bumped into websites providing free personality disorder tests. I took some of them, and guess what? I have personality disorders, Borderline, Schizotypal, and Avoidant. Knowing the fact makes me feel both relieving and upsetting.

At last, I finally can understand what have been wrong with me in the ways I’ve behaved, socialized, and thought for 15 years. Now, I can see who I am. And I can find ways to live better. Phew! What a relief. 

In the other hand, I feel upset. I don’t ask for personality disorders, ever. I can trade many things to have a normal life that a 22-year-old should have. I want to have stable emotion system, and close relationships. 

I want to have some words to people with personality disorders like me: It is ok. Although personality disorders make it difficult for us to be accepted by the society, they should not stop us from learning, growing, and connecting. So, keep living, don’t give up.

It is understandable that, sometimes, you wish those mental problems to disappear. Try to think it that way. Personality disorders give us chances to see the world differently and to experience different things. And they are completely ok.

It is hard for other people to accept us. 98% of the world population don't have personality disorders. Please be kind, open, and understanding to them.

To other people out there: Science researches show that childhood and adolescent traumas can lead to personality disorders. In my case, that is true. If, at times, I had found other ways to cope with traumas, or had somebody to ask for advices, my life would have been different. So, be kind to your friends, relatives, colleagues, and families, ok? Sometimes, you don't know what they are going through.